Secrets, Secrets are no fun!

I recently came across a thread on one of my favorite wedding sites about the problems with wedding blogs.

In this thread, Brides-to-bee indicated they had created a secret wedding blog so they didn't feel like they were letting the cat our of the bag when it came to the details of their wedding. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think a "secret" wedding blog sounds crazy! I've posted my blog on everything, from our wedding website to our save the dates. I want to share the details and planning of our wedding with all our guests!

I can understand about brides not wanting to post the details about their dress, or having it be difficult not to post frustrations about certain bridal party members or the MOB (hehe, love you mom) driving them nuts because these people might be regular readers. But I think its silly to hide these details because its all part of the wedding process. All brides go through similar situations, and denying certain situations existed is like denying part of a wedding existed.

I want to remember everything about my wedding from the first freak out, to walking down the aisle, and returning from the honeymoon... with a husband. I think that's why I'm ok with being open with my blog. Now, I don't plan on putting up pictures of my dress (KJ is one of my readers) and that has always been, and will remain MY #1 secret. However, I do hope to post pictures of my dress following the ceremony. After the wedding I would like to print off all the entries from my blog as well as KJ's and make a pretty scrapbook out of them. Possibly include them in our wedding photo album.?

I also want our guests to feel included. A lot of my family and KJ's family are many miles from where the planning is going on and where the wedding will be located. So if my blog can act as a connection to my family - I feel good.

So that's the deal with my blog. It's open, honest and a candid snapshot of the highs and low of planning what is sure to be one of the most memorable days of my life. YAY wedding!!

January To-Do List

**With just a week left of January, here's an update of this months outstanding to-do's**

This month I will:
Meet with/Book Photographer

Design Save the Dates

Send Save the Dates

Find/Book Ceremony Location
Confirm lighting vendor

Set-Up Initial Florist Consultations
Find and Buy the perfect pair of shoes
Schedule 1st fitting
Apply for passports - postponed till February
Get BM dresses ordered
Finish getting all addresses for guest list

Hello, beautiful

I did it...

and it was great :)

Thursday night I went with MOH S, Bridesmaid J, and my momma to see my dress. I got to put it on, see that it was so awesome and start picking out fantastic accessories. For how nervous that something would go horribly wrong, I was so happy that nothing really did. They got the right size, correct dress, and it looks like there will only be minimal alterations! Looking at myself in my dress I did see all of my flaws, its not like my soft spots miraculously disappeared, but I really felt amazing in the dress, and I can work on the rest. I think that's fair, right?

I was so happy that a few members of my bridal party got to be there, and I could share the experience with them. Since I've known Bridesmaid J (hmm, going on 10 years now) she always has worn really cute and big accessories. I'm more of a small (but knock-out pieces) accessory girl and I feel awkward wearing big pieces. I was happy to have her expertise in the matter to encourage me to try on things that I might not if I was just picking things out by myself. MOH S was in top MOH form asking things like "well, is that bracelet uncomfortable because you don't want it poking and hurting all day long" (omg, thank you... I see something sparkly-cute and I don't even think that this sharp pointy thing will be jabbing into my wrist for entire day). Not to mention MOH S even offered to bring in a sparkly PINK headband for me to try on which for her is probably equivalent to a form of chinese water torture ;)

In all of the fantastic accessory shopping I found a pair of earrings I love. I know it's not hard to me to fall in love with sparkly and shiny jewelry, but these were seriously fierce! What was seriously not cool was their $160 price tag for cz and fake pearls! I need to steal a picture from my wedding paparazzi to post, and maybe see if anyone is etsy alchemy could make me a pair for less. I haven't used etsy alchemy yet, but I've been looking for some reason to, so this might work! Yay dress, yay earrings, yay wedding!

Jitters

In 27 hours I will be standing in the bridal salon waiting to see it. Holding my breath in anticipation and praying to the heavens that it fits. My first dress visitation is tomorrow and to say I'm nervous is an understatement. I love my dress, its beautiful and original and it has character. Is it what I thought I would be wearing on my wedding day? No.

I've had serious serious doubts that it is "the" dress and the only comfort I could find was telling myself that I had no control over the situation until the dress came in and I tried it on. Then, and only then, I would have enough ammo to say "i do" or "do not". Well, that day is tomorrow. So all the nerves I've suppressed for the last 5 months trying to figure out if I ordered the right dress are bubbling to the surface.

I can't give away too many details because KJ reads my blog regularly, but I can tell you this, the cut is not supposed to be flattering for my body type, the material is not what I thought I wanted, and it's hella hard to find accessories to go with this dress. But when I put it on in the store, I lit up. The dress was fun.

Right now, I expect to love the dress like I did when I ordered it, but I do expect to be majorly critical. I tried on a sample size that was too small for me, so this will be the first time the dress actually is "on". Being a fit that I wasn't expecting I've actually talked to my mom about what will be the "deal breakers" with the dress. Never mind if the dress is fun, if its unflattering then more dress shopping we will do.

I'm not sure I feel like a bride, and that scares the beejeebies out of me. We've all seen episodes of SYTTD with those "YES" moments, where they put on the dress and its like magic. They are a bride, and they all of their wedding issues are solved because they found THE dress. That was NOT my experience. A trip to Kleinfelds that ended in notta, trying on some 50 dresses at 2 other stores, a trip to this bridal salon with 20 other dresses, and after taking 3 days to weigh my decision heavily and a second visit to make a final decision, I placed my order. Much thought went into this purchase, there was no impulsiveness about it, after all it was a business transaction. Ordering the dress was my first act as a bride. Maybe with all my planning and really being in the thick of things I'll feel more like a bride now?

Did anybody have that wedding relization of I'm A Bride at an unusual point in the planning process?

Sigh... wish me good luck!

"Those" People

**forgive me - I don't know how to upload a video, but use it as background music while you read this entry**


So we all know one of "those" people. And "those" people can mean a lot of different things. So here is what I mean when I talk about "those" people...

I mean the people that are absolutely positively 100% publicly and privately PERFECT for each other. The couples that just fit. They make it look so easy, so fun, so effortless. It's difficult to say ones name without referring to them as a single entity. You look up to them, you admire them, and you really really hope you are invited to their wedding because you know its going to go down in the book of love as one of the best you've ever been to.

I have 3 of "those" couples in my life - and because I love these couples so very much I want to tell you all about how fabulous they really are.

Heather & Jeff - this post is really all due to them. I just logged on to facebook and saw HEATHER & JEFF ARE ENGAGED, and my eyes teared up with happy tears! Heather & Jeff are so one of those couples, exactly what I was saying previously, they make it look effortless. They love to laugh and although I know they have bad days they would never take their anger out on a fly. They are both so damn smiley!! The cool thing about Heather & Jeff are they are younger than me. Sometime growing up you were introduced to role models who are always the older, successful person you want to be. It's kind of strange to have someone you look up to be younger than you, its going against the grain, but I guess its another thing that make them so awesome. So congrats to Heather & Jeff -I hope you live happily ever after and have adorable musical babies.

Emily & Mike - I felt extraordinarily honored to be invited to Emily & Mikes wedding. You see, Emily and Mike were a few years ahead of me in school and "the" couple. Everyone knew them, and everyone loved them. Both are amazingly funny people that could make a brick wall giggle. I knew going into Emily & Mike's wedding that I was going to be part of something great, but I had no idea what kind of impact it would make on me. Their wedding was what all weddings aspire to be: delightfully fun, incredibly happy, and hopelessly romantic. As they read their personally written vows full of their deepest sincerity and a humor that only Emily and Mike could create, there was not a dry eye in the house. And if that wasn't enough, as their stared into each others eyes and sang along to their first dance "Somewhere over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - well that could make Scrooge a believer. To this day, when KJ and I start talking about our wedding it isn't too long until one of us brings up Emily and Mike's wedding, and how we hope to capture the same beauty that they were able to on that one day of their blessed lives.

And finally,
Kayla & Kenny - Kayla is my wonderful cousin and the one I refer to as "Bridesmaid K" in my blogs. Kayla's story is a little different than the rest: Kenny passed away last June and therefore, is no longer with us. Kayla and Kenny both have fiery personalities and hearts of pure gold. Kayla and Kenny have a love like no one I have ever seen, because even in death the love they share is so apparent. Kayla's strength should be entered in the "worlds strongest man" competition. I'm pretty sure it could knock those brawny men named Klaus, Stefan, or Erich on their asses(don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about... we've all been up late one night and found reruns from 1989 on espn). Even apart, the transparency of their love and relationship is something we should all aspire for.

And, so ends my dedication blog. Thank you to these people for showing me the importance happiness, laughter and strength has in a successful relationship and by leading by example. I know most of these people don't read my wedding blog but a very special "thank you" for sharing your lives with me, you have touched my life and for that I am so very grateful.

0 to 60

I feel like I went from 0 to 60 in wedding planning, and I'm loving it!

In the past 24 hours I have sent our photographer a signed contract, got my maid of honor fitted and gave the green light for Bridesmaids J, K and B to order their dresses, scheduled my dress visitation, and have ordered my save the dates.... SO EXCITED!

I'll post more about each of these things coming up, but for now... rockin' bride, out!

::vroom::

I'm sensing a trend:

The 4th in the somewhat downtrodden and not that blushing of a bride's blog entries....

My dad lost his job this weekend. The way he had been talking it wasn't all that much of a surprise, his company had been downsizing over the past few months and before the holidays he was surprised (and of course thankful) he still had a job. I remember when my mom lost her job a few years back and it completely knocked her on her butt. Despite the tough economy, I actually think my dad will find a job rather quickly, at least I'm hoping. While my dad is the eternal bachelor and loves to live the life of luxury, he has a pretty good head about him. Growing up he always seemed aware of expenses and fiscally responsible. He has done a lot of different jobs from tax filer to bartender - so I think he will be able to find something to supplement his bills at least temporarily. It's just scary, my dad and mom both live alone and while they are both happier divorced it does seem to add considerable stress on each of them not having the ability to split their expenses. It makes me worry.

I've always worried about money, or really, the lack there of.

And so, a whole slew of worries have come up in the past week. Making sure my dad is ok and continues to be ok is priority #1. The whole only-daughter-getting-married thing... well ya, that's an issue. Our wedding budget is a generous mix of donations from parents, grandparents, and our (KJ & my) money; i.e. the invitations will definitely read "Together with their parents". So, now, with my dad being out of work, I'm not sure how that effects our budget. The tough part is: I don't want to ask... or maybe I do. I don't know.

I don't want to be a jerk and say "what about ME", but at the same time we've planned our wedding off of a bottom line, and if that line is going to be affected, I feel its right for me to know. My dad, being the smarty pants he is will let us know, I have no doubt. I'm just very impatient and one of those the quicker the better types. I'm trying to be sensitive and understanding, but man... its hard sometimes!

Anybody have to deal with a big budget shift while planning? How do you cope?

Epic (fail)

In the case of Week 2 of Couch vs. 5k... couch won.

I seriously had every single intention of going to the gym tonight. I knew I had to go to the car dealer because apparently by social security card was issued in 2007 and they wanted a copy of my visa... and despite KJ telling them I was born in the US and my card was issued about 13 years prior to 2007 - they didn't believe him. So off I went, ss card in tote and hopefully cleared everything up. I also had to pick up the green buick from Midas to prepare for its trip to a junk yard in the sky. What I didn't expect was the phone call from KJ indicating he was at the vet with Sadie because apparently she confused herself with a garbage disposal when she

decided to eat a box of glass ornaments (and hooks) from off the kitchen table while we were at work. Puppy needed an xray and thank goodness, she seems to be ok. We have to keep her on a special diet for the next few days and KJ was sweet enough to volunteer to stay home from work tomorrow so he could watch her (if she starts acting funny, back to the vet we must go). By the time we got home it was 8pm and all 3 of us needed dinner.

So, week turn is going to turn into week 3 - but I'm still gonna do it. And on a wedding related topics, I picked up the newest Martha Stewart Weddings at the store. 15 years of MS Weddings:

I haven't read it yet, but I know its going to be good - see that carnation cake on the front? SWOON!!

Oh...fail

So week 2 of couch to 5K running and I've failed.

I planned on starting week 2 last Sunday but there was a lot to do around the apartment and it didn't happen. I knew Monday was out because I had my first cardio kickbox class... which was a lot of fun by the way. So it was Tuesday, do or die... and well, I didn't make it to the gym today.

Not for lack of trying though... its just that I was a little busy, buying my new car!!

Thats my new blue passat!

It took us 6 hours at the dealership to pick a car and go through the negotiating and paperwork. Holy car, I didn't know it took so long!!

So, you see, even if I start tomorrow its one day run, one day rest, which means I wont have enough time to do all 3 days this week. I am a little sad, but I still plan on running tomorrow, friday, and maybe Saturday too. For now, I'm going to go dream of the new german in my life!

Photo Finish?!

Did we magically land on an awesome photographer who is in our budget, takes amazing pictures, is super nice, and has a young fresh perspective on wedding photography?

Bye-George, we may have!

Saturday we met with Photog #1 - a large studio that has 12 photogs offering a variety of styles and unbeatable prices (seriously, unbeatable. I've never heard of a wedding photog costing under 1K for an all day inclusive package). So we met, listened, talked, and then got the bad news... 7 of the 12 photogs were already committed for our day. (Piff... don't these people realize its MY wedding day... who else is having their wedding pictures taken on MY wedding day?!?!) But, keeping an optimistic attitude, we went back to my lappy after our meeting and checked out the remaining photographers galleries. SNORE... we were just not feeling any of the available photogs. Although they had all the pictures your bride and groom would ask for, they looked like they cost their low price tag, and that would not cut it.

So... off we went Sunday to meet with Photog #2 - a young, recently married, individual photog who had gotten nothing but exceptional reviews on wedding wire, the knot, and yelp. We met at Starbuck in Oak Park, ok thats 2 small points that may have been working in his favor right off the bat, and just had a real quick conversation about what we were looking for and what his skill set provided. The pictures kind of spoke for themselves, they were really emotional and vibrant in color. They just said "happiest day of my life". It was a good meeting.

However, we walked away from the consultation with the biggest hurdle still ahead of us. Photog #2 would be e-mailing a proposal and price quote later in the afternoon. And of course, our Internet was down the remainder of Sunday... enter KJ's iPhone that can pretty much solve at least 1/3 of life's problems...

Of course, being the good sales person a photog should be, Photog #2 included 3 options for us in the proposal: the basic, the acceptable, and the everything package. The acceptable package is just a tiny bit over our budget, and includes almost everything we wanted, with a very fair price tag. My concern about the package is that its for 8 hours of wedding photography. I have no idea what our timeline is going to be like and if 8 hours would be enough?

So KJ and I are taking 3 days, I said till Wednesday, to mull it over and make a decision to sign or to keep shopping.

It's kind of crazy to think 2 photographers in we may have found the one that will help us preserve the memories from our wedding we will share for the rest of our life. Although I wouldn't say Photog #2 and I will become best friends (the meeting wasn't thaaat good), I was ok and it was very easy to interact with Photog #2, which is important for someone like me who becomes an awkward turtle when put in front of a camera. Photog #2 seriously has exceptional reviews online (every time there was a rating system between 1 and 5 stars, photog #2 got 5 stars in everything...Photog #1 got varied reviews between 1 and 5 stars...consistency is a big thing for me) but I'm scared to commit. I think the only thing holding me back right now is just that feeling of "what if" and those scary second thoughts.

the downside of the bride-to-be

I've always been super sensitive about how I look in pictures, primarily because I think am among the least photogenic people ever. Camera and pictures are words that actually make me cringe. Lasting images of my not toned arms starring me in the face, or the scary truth that when I thought I looked great today, I was sadly mistaken, always seem to be a reality when it comes to pictures. Smile, not smile, maybe sort of smile... I can never get it right. The pictures that are supposed to be of the happiest day of my life seem like a cruel irony because all I see are imperfections.

So, my fear and loathing of pictures have obviously made me want to work out and get looking a little better. I'd love to loose 20 lbs, but honestly, I don't know about that. It's really hard for me to loose weight, always has been. So instead of saying I want to loose 20 lbs, I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. This month, I would love the loose 3 lbs. I should be able to do that right?

Step 1. Work Out.

I had a personal trainer, but honestly knew I could do more, it was expensive and I was only going once a week. I felt like 2 or 3 times would be ideal, but there was no way I could afford that. So, I broke up with my personal trainer. Instead, I enrolled my booty in a Cardio Kickbox (ie Turbo Tae bo) class through the park district. $53 for 12 weeks, bargain! First class starts Monday - It shouldn't be hard to get my $4.42 worth of working out.

In addition, I'm going to try very very hard to commit to this Couch to 5K plan - I've heard very good things. While pictures and camera are among the most feared words of my life, running completes the trifecta of horror words. I've never been a runner and never thought I could - but always have admired those who could.

This isn't my first dance with the Couch to 5K plan. I actually tried it a few months ago, but got to about week 4 and got bored, or distracted, or something and I stopped. It's a pretty easy plan: 9 weeks, 3 times a week, about 30 minutes, and it gradually gets your body used to running with the goal of 3 miles in week 9.

Today I completed Week 1. I ran Sunday, Wednesday and today. It was a 5 minute warm up, then 8 sets of one minute run/90 second brisk walk, and a 5 minute cool down. So simple, even a caveman, scratch that, even I, could do it. Bring on week 2 - 8 weeks left to go - take that Jillian Michaels.

I figured posting my progress on the Couch to 5K plan would hold me more accountable and make me feel responsible for getting through the new weeks. Has anyone ever done this before? Thoughts for this clueless runner appreciated!